Thursday, July 19, 2007

Gaston

By guest reviewer Shaun Bozeman

Gaston was a gloriously tragic introspective that's examines the ultimate downfall of the most under appreciated villain Disney ever created. -Shaun Bozeman

Many thought Gaston died near the end of Beauty and the Beast, but apparently it wasn't so. Gaston picks up right where the BATB left off. While Belle was rushing to the beasts side, Gaston was fighting for his life in the river he so fortuitously fell into. Gaston's old friend Monsieur D'Arque rushed to his aid and helped him re coop. Although his noticeably intimidating physique was unharmed, Gaston fell into a deep depression because of losing the love of his life to that beast. Months passed and Gaston wasn't even consuming one dozen eggs a day.
This stretch of the movie seems to drag on and on almost like the animators were relishing in Gaston's misery. Finally Monsieur D'Arque was out of milk so the downtrodden Gaston ventured into the town he once ran to fetch some.
A great interior monologue occurred on the walk into town where Gaston was trying to decide if the towns people would love him and welcome him back or hate him and run him out of town, but to him something worse happened. Because he lost so much muscle he no one even noticed him.
The animators captured Gaston's shallow yet painful torment beautifully as he drank too much at the local pub and began singing "Gaston" his own theme song. He was quickly thrown out into a puddle. This puddle scene is comparable to the one in BATB except instead of being embarrassed by a women he was stripped of his manliness.
Refocused by the bar incident, Gaston starts training to become "twice the man he was before". He relocates to the next town over, Leunes, and enters into an arm wrestling competition scheduled in three weeks.
The training sequence is really something to see. Sly Stallone would be proud. This was the single best piece of animation i have ever seen... i dont want to give too much away but Gaston takes down a bear with his bare hands!!!
Naturally Gaston dominates the field and takes the trophy, and people sing his names from the rafters once again! he is loved, he is the alphamale and yet... he doesn't care. All he can think about is Belle.

AT this point in the movie an option appear and you can choose your own ending. there is a happy face, a sad face, and a indifferent face with a cowboy hat... i chose the cowboy hat.

WARNING THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE COWBOY HAT ENDING!!!

Gaston, now voicing by Robert Duval rides up to the beasts estate and demands a duel. The Beast is a pansy and sends the maitre D-turned-candlestick-turned-maitre D in his proxy.
The best shootout since Open Range followes suit. This is where the film earned its PG-13 tag. Gaston dispatches the candlestick but took a glancing shot to the shoulder in the process.
The beast remarked, "looks like he got you in the shootin' shoulder"
Gaston replied, "Actually i'm left handed, i was giving the little guy a chance" (as he switches the gun into his left hand)

The pansy Beast kept sending proxies until there were no more to be sent. Gaston had dispatched the whole crew!!! By this time, Gaston had been shot three to four times and could barely hold his gun level. At this time you finally see the depth of his character and fierce love of Gaston for Belle. Finally the Beast manned up to face him knowing that Gaston could not shoot straight ( he knew this because it took him a full five minutes and 34 shots to dispatch Mrs. Potts.) Gaston would not back down even facing certain death. A certain bravery showed through his cocky nature. Finally they squared off where Gaston dropped his gun and fell to his knees. He mouthed 'I love you' towards Belle before being shot 6 times by The Beast who was a suprisingly excellent gunman.

The End.


4 comments:

tyler said...

Probably the best Disney sequel this side of Return of Jafar. Quit all school and job and get this story on pad and paper. Scratch that, write it on pad and paper, then quit, then sell it for 14.6 million dollars.

Ben Pearson said...

Absolutely beautiful stuff.

Enzo said...

masterful

Joey Joe said...

How did you stumble uponst such a movie?